Inspired Heart Coaching

Taking Things Personally? Here's How to Stop... :-)

Okay, I admit it.  I still have times when I struggle to NOT take things personally.

Which means, of course, that, yes, even though I know better, I still have those moments when I DO take things personally.

Ugh.

There’s a wonderful quote from Dr. Patricia Allen, that brings me some reprieve…

“We are all broken in one way or another, and we must learn to accept the broken aspect in order to love.”

Not just in order to love another, but in order to love ourselves too.

I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling frustrated or angry, I tend to start judging myself I start thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way."

But the more I judge myself for what I’m feeling, the more contracted I feel, and the more I shut down.

What we resist persists.

The more I try to force myself into feeling better, the more I try to jump to the nearest distraction to avoid the feeling altogether or I just beat myself up for feeling this way to begin with.

The biggest challenge is letting go of the judgment about what I’m feeling, so…

I decided to try a new tactic.

What if... when I felt contracted, I simply took it as a sign from the Universe that it's a time to take care of myself, to not make any big decisions, and to just allow myself to 'be'?

What if... I accepted what I’m feeling and didn't judge it to be good or bad, right or wrong, but just what 'is' for the moment?

What if… I just gave myself permission to feel what I’m feeling and to just let it be okay?

I discovered something…the emotional relief is immediate.

When I judge and resist what I’m feeling, I never really get the chance to move beyond the feelings, by allowing them to move through me.

I might be able to force them into hiding for awhile, but eventually they start popping up in one form or another...

I get sick, want to eat everything in sight, react to my daughter’s moods, (she’s 15, it’s her job to be moody) go through the day with no energy, and wade through sleepless nights…

So how does all this relate to learning how to NOT take things personally?

Something interesting happened when I learned how to stop judging myself and my feelings…

I learned how to stop judging other people’s feelings and to stop taking them personally… especially my partner’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have to remind myself DAILY.

But it gets easier all the time.

And it’s easier to communicate from a place of understanding, rather than my old patterns of shutting down or having a huge emotional reaction.

I’ll leave you with one final quote from two of my favorite teachers, Janet & Chris Attwood…

“When I can be okay with the contraction in myself, I can accept the contraction in people around me.  When I'm okay with both, then my life is simply a life lived in love."

Here's to a life lived in love for you and all those you hold dear.

Give yourself the love and acceptance you so deserve :-)

Until next time,

With all my love,

Dawn

Past Relationships- How to release them so you can step into the future

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like no matter what you did or what you said, you were still attached to the person you were trying to leave behind?

Been there.  The last time, after I had exhausted all my resources for doing everything I knew to let go of the past, a very powerful visualization came to me one morning while I was meditating.

While I was going through this process, I wanted to feel like I was letting go of the past in a peaceful and harmonious way.

I wanted to feel like I was moving towards something I wanted rather than away from something I didn't want.

I've had a quite a few clients recently who were in the same place... needing and wanting to move on from the past, but not knowing how.   

This visualization worked so well for me, I now take all my clients through it as well, and I wanted to share it with you...

Feel free to pass it on if you know anyone who might be needing to leave the past behind, because until we fully complete and release our past relationships, we will continue to carry our emotional baggage into the future.

Take your time with this meditation and do it as often as necessary until you feel a sense of completion.

Find a comfortable place to sit and relax.

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths.

Allow your awareness to rest gently on your heart.

Visualize yourself standing someplace quiet and peaceful.

Now visualize the person you would like to release from the past standing across from you.

You are each holding one end of a cord that runs between you.

This cord represents your attachment to each other and the energetic connection of your relationship.

You can visualize this cord as a golden rope of light, or a piece of heavy white cord, whatever feels right

for you.

Take a few minutes to tell this person anything you need to say to feel complete with the relationship.

You are speaking to this person’s higher self, so whatever you say will be understood.

Visualize them being appreciative of your telling them how you feel and accepting of anything you have to say.

When you feel complete, lovingly tell this person good-bye and thank them for everything you learned

while you were with them.

Very gently set your end of the cord that you were holding down on the ground.  By setting down your end of the cord, you have released your attachment to this person and the relationship completely.

There is no longer any energetic connection between you. 

You can visualize them setting down their end of the cord, or perhaps they have chosen to hang on to their end of the cord, whatever they choose to do in your visualization is fine.

But since you have set down your end of the cord, you are now free of your connection to the past.

Once you have said good-bye and set down the cord, visualize yourself turning and walking towards a beautiful, white light.

Within this beautiful white light is everything you now want to manifest in your life… all your dreams, goals, and desires.

Now that you have released and let go of the past, you are free to walk into this light and know that

everything is there waiting for you.

Your only job now is to feel what it’s like to be surrounded by everything you desire; your dreams are there waiting for you, you just need to open your arms and let them into your life.

The only thing that was holding you back was your attachment to the past.

Now that you’ve let that go, you are free to receive all the good waiting for you now and in the future.

Spend some time thinking about everything that this beautiful white light holds for you.

Write it all down… your ideal relationship and partner, your ideal career and financial resources, your ideal home life, your physical health and well-being.

Tap into the experience of what it would feel like to be living in your ideal life.

Place your hand over your heart and anchor those feelings of joy, happiness, peace, love, success, prosperity... whatever feelings represent your ideal life for you. 

Anytime you start to feel worried, doubtful or insecure, go back to this meditation and visualize yourself again gently putting down the cord to the past and walking towards the light of everything you want in your life.

Every time you do this visualization, you will be freeing yourself more and more from the past, and strengthening your connection to the future, your desires and effortlessly attracting them into your life.

I'd love to hear from you, and as always, if I can support you in any way, please let me know.

Until next time...

With love light and blessings,

Dawn

 

Dawn Allen, M.S.

Love & Law of Attraction Coach

Certified Dream Coach

Certified Passion Test Facilitator

541.608.0508

http://www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com

dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com

Love- Healing Your Wounded Heart

"Healing Your Wounded Heart with Love"

 I have a confession.  If you haven't read my bio on my website or blog, you may not know I've been engaged twice and married twice, all to different men.  In addition, my daughter and I were both molested by my former stepfather.

Healing from heartbreak is something I know how to do really, really well. 

I've learned that once you know how to heal your heart, the process is the same, regardless of the circumstances.

Marianne Williamson said, "It is not the love we did not receive in the past that hurts us.  What hurts us is the love we are not extending in the present."

The place to extend that love when you've been heartbroken is to yourself.  It took me a long time to learn how to do this.  My initial way of coping was to distract myself and to bury my feelings.  From the time I was 16 and my stepfather came into my life, I had an eating disorder for the next ten years that did a really good job of distracting me from the pain I was feeling.

When we've been heartbroken, one of the things that prevents our healing is resisting what we're feeling.  In my case, having an eating disorder was a way for me to resist dealing with my painful feelings.

If I had known then, what I know now, and had someone to walk me through the process of healing, I would have saved myself years of anguish. 

It took me a long time to learn how to embrace and accept what I was feeling, no matter how unpleasant.  But once I did, it finally allowed me to gradually move through my feelings and eventually release them.  It didn't happen overnight.

Grieving and healing from heartbreak is a process, but it doesn't have to take years, as it initially did in my case.  If you know the steps, you can recover much more quickly and come out of the process an even stronger and more loving person than you were before.

The first step is to bring yourself to the present moment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling.  John Gray wrote a wonderful book called, "What You Feel, You Can Heal."  Feeling is the first step in healing.

Allow all your feelings to come to the surface.  Breathe through them.  If tears come as well, then let them come.  Tears are very cleansing to the soul and they put us in touch with our hearts.  Getting in touch with our hearts is a big part of the healing process, so tears should be welcomed.

The next step is to express your feelings.  Expressing your feelings is critical to your healing.  You need to have a space to release whatever is going on inside of you, without having to be kind, spiritual, or worry about what someone else is going to think of you.

Through the years, my saving grace was expressing my feelings in my journal.  Having the outlet of my journal as a safe place to express all my emotions literally saved my life at times.

Now I have the benefit of a coach as an additional haven for me to express my feelings.  Only recently have I realized how powerful it is to have another person acknowledge and witness my feelings and intentions.  Having that supportive relationship in my life made transitioning through my last divorce, a thousand times easier than my first one twenty years ago.

It is essential to have a way to express all your feelings, whether that's in a journal or by talking to a friend, therapist, or coach.  Until those unexpressed, painful feelings are released, you'll stay stuck.

My grandmother passed away when I was eleven.  It took me ten years to complete the grieving process.  I bottled my sadness up inside me and pretended everything was fine.  It wasn't until I took two dozen sleeping pills on my 17^th birthday as a loud cry for help that I finally broke down.  I started expressing my grief, releasing what had been pent up inside me for years, and at last began to heal.

As you become present and start expressing all the feelings inside you, extend all the love you have to give, towards yourself.  That is where all your healing begins... with a heart full of love for yourself.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

Does Your Heart Need Healing? Here Are 3 Ways to Begin...

A few months ago, I started working with a client who was struggling to pull her life together after her husband left her for another woman.  She was in a great deal of pain and having a difficult time letting go of her anger, jealousy, and resentment.  As we discussed what she could do to start healing, my heart welled with empathy.

Years ago, I was hopelessly in love with a man who left me two separate times to have affairs with much younger women.  The first time, I was devastated.  The second time, I was so angry I never wanted to see him again.  I tried to pretend I didn’t care, but that only deepened my anger and resentment.  I felt insecure, jealous, and filled with self-doubts.

It took me years to heal from that experience and recover my self-esteem.  I learned everything I could on healing and relationships.  Ultimately, it led me to the work I do now because I didn’t want other women to go through the long, painful process I did.

If your heart is hurting, here are three ways to begin healing:

• Focus your energy on yourself.  When we are involved in a painful relationship, all our energy gets directed at trying to make the relationship better.  There’s very little energy left for ourselves.  The biggest mistake we make as women is giving too much of ourselves away.  We try to make everything better for everyone else, but then have nothing left over for ourselves.  Let go of focusing your attention on your partner and his life; bring all of your attention back to your own life. 
• Express your feelings.  In order to start healing, your feelings need to be expressed in a safe place.  Create a “Healing Your Heart” journal and begin writing.  Talk with a coach, therapist, or spiritual counselor to have a safe environment to express your feelings and facilitate your healing process.  Reach out for help and support when you need it.
• Do one small thing every day that makes you feel good and helps you take better care of yourself.  When we are trying to pick up the pieces of our life after a relationship ends, we forget to take care of ourselves.  Yet, it’s the most critical time for us to give ourselves the love and attention we’re no longer receiving from a partner.

A lot of these things may feel impossible to do right now.  I know it did for me, but you can do it.  Get support and give yourself time.  The healing won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.  Be gentle with yourself.  Be patient.  Difficult though it may be to believe, you will heal.

Your Assignment:  Make healing and self-care your biggest priority.

If you have children, it will do them good to see you taking care of yourself.  You are not your best as a mother, if you are unhappy and miserable with your life.  You need to put yourself first.  You need a healthy outlet for your feelings and a safe space to heal your heart.

Look for one small thing to do each day that makes you feel good.  One day at a time, you will see, your life will become one that makes your heart sing again… where all your dreams can come true. 

 

 

Love- Are Your Perceptions Hiding A Gift of Love?

I recently learned a valuable lesson about how our perceptions can lead us to misinterpreting events and profoundly affect our relationships. 

     

Not long ago, a dear friend of mine was away on a trip visiting his parents.  His parents are elderly, so he spends most of his time taking care of them when he’s with them.  His siblings have the caretaking responsibility when he’s not there.  He and his mother love to go shopping when he visits.  On this last trip, he called me when they were shopping for clothes to find out what size I wore.  I was excited to see what he bought. 

After he got home, I didn’t hear from him right away, which initially I didn’t give much thought to.  He had been swamped with work right before he left, and since he’s self-employed, the work doesn’t get done unless he’s home to do it.

As a few days passed, I started to wonder why he hadn’t contacted me.  All kinds of thoughts ran through my head.  Was he upset with me for some reason?  Had I done something wrong?  Trying to figure out all the possible reasons of why he hadn’t yet called just made me feel worse.

I finally mentioned what was happening to my mother and told her how I was feeling.  My brilliant seventy-five year old mother, who is my greatest coach, told me to refocus my attention and energy back on my own life, and let go of wondering what was going on with him. 

My mom reassured me that he’d obviously been thinking about me or he wouldn’t have been buying me clothes while he was away.  She also reminded me how painful it is to visit parents you haven’t seen for months, and see their physical and mental health rapidly declining.  It takes time to regain your emotional equilibrium after such a stressful and challenging trip.

Listening to her talk, I suddenly viewed everything from a completely different perspective.  I felt a huge sense of compassion.  The trips to visit his parents had become increasingly difficult for my friend.  I had not even considered all these other aspects to the story, and the way we interpret events are indeed our stories.

The hurt and rejection I’d been feeling disappeared as I hung up the phone with my mother.  I wrote a short email to my friend letting him know I was thinking about him and hoped he was well.

He contacted me the following day.  He said he’d been working non-stop ever since he got home.  He was still overwhelmed with work, but asked if I’d like to come over that evening, so we could dance and go for a motorcycle ride together.  As soon as I got there, he handed me a present wrapped in green paper with a red bow.  It felt like Christmas.  Neatly folded inside were the clothes he had bought for me while he was away, and some others he had purchased after he came home. 

All the thoughts and feelings I’d had when he first returned from his trip seemed immaterial.  The pain and suffering I’d put myself through were a result of my initial perspective and how I had interpreted not hearing from him.

When I changed my perspective, and was able to see the situation from a different point of view, my interpretation of what happened changed too.  Instead of hurt and anger, my feelings shifted to love and compassion.  That shift opened the door to a positive response from my friend.

When we’re feeling stuck in our pain, it is invaluable to be able to step back from our perceived point of view and see events and circumstances through someone else’s eyes. A negative, painful interpretation can shift to a more loving and positive one simply by changing your perspective.

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Your Assignment:  Take a look how you interpret events and circumstances that happen.  Explore these ideas in a journal, and you’ll gain clarity, objectivity, and perhaps a new perspective on the people and events in your life. 

Seeing events through another person’s eyes is not only a gift to them, but also a loving gift to yourself. You are giving yourself the power of choice to reinterpret painful events, and instead choose to create a life of love for yourself.

Fear- Is Your Faith In Your Fear or Your Future?

My daughter started cheerleading practice this week.  The team appointed her their flyer.  She'll be the one that climbs to the top of the formations as all the other girls support her.  She had to push through her initial fears to trust that the other girls would be there to support her standing on their shoulders, and then to catch her when she jumped off.

It reminded me of how many times my own fears have kept me stuck.  Fear kept me trapped in the past.  Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment kept me repeating old patterns and behaviors in my relationships and in my life for years.

The fearful questions would run endlessly through my head.  What if I end this relationship and find out it was as good as it gets?  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I get hurt?  What if I try and then fail?  I had more faith in my negative beliefs and fear of repeating the past, than I did in new possibilities for my future. 

I had no clue that fears were actually running my life.  Anger, worry, resentment, and insecurity showed up on the outside, but underneath everything was fear.  My way of dealing with it was to try to control everything and everyone in my life.  It was exhausting.  And I failed miserably.

When I was finally so tired of my excuses and even more tired of trying to control everything, I let go.  I realized the only way out of my perpetual cycle of fear was to surrender control, and move forward in faith.  I had to trust in something beyond myself to give me the faith I couldn't muster on my own.

It takes courage to surrender; to trust and have faith; to step beyond what you've known and experienced in the past; to believe you can create something different for yourself.  Ultimately, the faith we learn to have is in ourselves, bolstered by the knowledge that we are not alone.  We do not have to face our fears by ourselves.  We can reach beyond to a higher power greater than what we have and tap into faith.

"Faith equals trust.  Faith offers us hope, and opportunity and promise.  If we choose to live in faith, we will be blessed with the support and the partnership of the universe."-Debbie Ford

Your Assignment:  Ask, where is your faith?  Is it in your fears, or in the belief that you can create your future?

If you had complete faith in yourself and in your future, what would you do differently?

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

You deserve to have the best life you can possibly imagine.  The only question is, do you have the faith to step out and create it? 

 

What Is Your Life Reflecting Back To You?

Click this audio button to hear this week's article.

A few years ago, I read a story about Deepak Chopra in Joe Vitale's book, The Key, that left a huge impact on me. In his seminars and books, Deepak talks about all of life being a mirror and constantly reflecting back our own beliefs. If there are elements in another person that really anger or upset you, most likely, those are the same elements you have in yourself that you don't like.

In this story, Deepak was talking about a woman who came up to him at one of his seminars and really pushed his buttons. He thought this woman was rude, impatient, and obnoxious. He had a whole list of things.

Later he thought, Wait a minute, I should take my own teachings to heart. So he wrote down all the elements that he saw in the other person he didnt like. Then he called his publicist and said, Im going to read a list of these traits to you, and I want you to tell me if I have these. He listed them all, like obnoxious, rude, and impatient. He went through the whole list, and he said the other side of the phone was dead quiet for a long time. He thought, "Oh, no," and he decided to check with his wife.

He then read the same list to her. The silence on the other side of the phone was even longer this time than it had been with his publicist. The point being those elements he didn't like in the other person were the ones that he didn't like in himself.

After reading this story, I made a list of all the things that were triggering reactions in me about my ex-husband. I discovered the judgments and beliefs I was carrying around towards him were mirroring the beliefs I actually had about myself.

I blamed him for being unsupportive and critical of me, for not believing in me, for not caring about my happiness or success. But the truth was, deep down not only was I was not supportive of him, I was not supportive of myself. I didnt believe in myself. I wasn't committed to my own happiness or success. I didnt believe I deserved anything better.

I was so busy trying to jump around and make everyone else happy I lost myself in the process. Underneath all the anger and blame I directed towards others, I was deeply critical and angry with myself for not taking a stand for my own happiness and fulfillment. My life mirrored my lack of belief in myself.

I attached my self-worth and self-esteem to things, people, and circumstances outside myself. Rather than trusting and believing in myself, I was always looking for answers in yet another book, another degree, the next new seminar, or in my relationship with another person.

It wasn't until I discovered what was underneath my reactions to other people, that I was able to take responsibility for all the parts of myself I had disowned. Doing so not only transformed me, but all my relationships as well.

In The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford said When we are willing to open our hearts to all that exists, and start looking for the good rather than the bad in everything, we will see God. We will see love. Remembering we are the ones choosing what we see is essential. On some level, we ask for all the lessons we learn in this lifetime. Every incident, no matter how horrible, has a gift for you. And if you get your gift then I will get mine, for I am you and you are me in the world of the spirit.

Your Assignment: Look at an aspect of someone that triggers an emotional reaction in you. Is there any place where you might have that same quality?

Is there something that you dislike in other people that you might also dislike in yourself? If that part of you had a potential gift to share, what would it be? What could it be here to teach you?

Only by accepting ourselves without judgment and blame can we uncover all the gifts we have to share with the world. Love all aspects of yourself fully. Your life and everyone in it will reflect back that same love.

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If you would like support in moving past the beliefs that are holding you back from living a life you love, send me an email.  When you don't have to do it all yourself, all things are possible for you.  We will work together to transform your pain into power; move beyond fear, resentment and other sabotaging emotions; rebuild your self-respect, self-confidence, and self-love to healing; and reinventing your life filled with love and inspiration.

Contact me today... I'd love to talk.

Resentment- Where Is It Keeping You Stuck In Your Life?

  Click this audio button to hear this week's article.

After my divorce, the biggest hurdle I had to overcome was the lingering resentment I felt towards my ex-husband. It kept me glued to the past. It ate away at my self-esteem and chained me to seeing myself as a victim.

The definition of resentment is “Indignation, or ill will, felt as a result of a real, or imagined, grievance.”

Whether my indignation and ill will were real, or imagined was irrelevant. As long as I hung on to my resentment, I gave away my power to change anything in my life.

The blame I directed at my ex-husband was a convenient way f or me to sidestep accepting responsibility for how I had contributed to the problems in our relationship.

My resentment was insidious in the way it showed up in my life. I ended one relationship after another. Nobody seemed good enough, because my resentment clouded my vision and prevented me from seeing any new relationship clearly. The dark, angry void inside of me was not something anyone else could fill.

Maybe I had a legitimate right to feel wronged and mistreated. But, I know my ex-husband would have said the same thing about me. One thing I know for sure, we are never alon e in a relationship. Who we are on the inside is what shows up on the outside.

If I blamed my ex-husband for betraying me and treating me poorly, I had to ask, where had I betrayed him and treated him poorly? Where had I betrayed myself by ignoring my feelings and dismissing my intuition when it told me things weren’t right?

The truth allowed me to reclaim my authenticity and sense of self. When I saw my own pattern of dysfunction, and took responsibility for my part in creating the past, I was empowered to create something different for myself. 

The pain and disappointment I experienced as a result of my marriage ending was the biggest catalyst for personal growth I’ve ever had. In my deep search for meaning and healing, it propelled me to look at parts of myself, and my behavior I had never seen before.

When I was able to see myself through the eyes of my ex-husband, I saw a more honest portrayal of who I was. Not good, not bad, just what was.
Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is. The way you cope with it, is what makes the difference.”

In coping with what was, and who I was, I found the strength to change, and to make new choices. I also found the love, gratitude, and appreciation for my ex-husband and our marriage that had been buried under years of resentment. It was the best gift I could ever find. It allowed me to move on. I put the past behind me once and for all, and found the love and inspiration for my life I’d been looking for all along.

If you’re feeling resentment towards someone who hurt you, ‘un-stick’ yourself from the past, so you can be free to start creating a life you love.

Your Assignment: Find the source of your frustration, anger or resentment. What was it this person did that you still can’t forgive? What incident or experience can you not let go of? Now the difficult part… ask yourself, how did you contribute to creating this experience? Where did you not honor yourself and your own feelings? Were there red flags that you chose not to see?

Your answers will help you reclaim your power to see the past from a different perspective, and allow you to start the process of healing and forgiveness.

Healing Your Wounded Heart with Love

Click this audio button to hear this week's article

 

I have a confession.  If you haven't read my bio on my website or blog, you may not know I've been engaged twice and married twice, all to different men.  In addition, my daughter and I were both molested by my former stepfather.

Healing from heartbreak is something I know how to do really, really well. 

I've learned that once you know how to heal your heart, the process is the same, regardless of the circumstances.

Marianne Williamson said, "It is not the love we did not receive in the past that hurts us.  What hurts us is the love we are not extending in the present."

The place to extend that love when you've been heartbroken is to yourself.  It took me a long time to learn how to do this.  My initial way of coping was to distract myself and try to bury my feelings.  From the time I was 16 and my stepfather came into my life, I had an eating disorder for the next ten years that did a really good job of distracting me from the pain I was feeling.

When we've been heartbroken, one of the things that prevents our healing is resisting what we're feeling.  In my case, having an eating disorder was a way for me to resist dealing with my painful feelings.

If I had known then, what I know now, and had someone to walk me through the process of healing, I would have saved myself years of anguish.

It took me a long time to learn how to embrace and accept what I was feeling, no matter how unpleasant.  But once I did, it finally allowed me to gradually move through my feelings and eventually release them.  It didn’t happen overnight.

Grieving and healing from heartbreak is a process, but it doesn’t have to take years, as it initially did in my case.  If you know the steps, you can recover much more quickly and come out of the process an even stronger and more loving person than you were before.

The first step is to bring yourself to the present moment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.  John Gray wrote a wonderful book called, “What You Feel, You Can Heal.”  Feeling is the first step in healing.

Allow all your feelings to come to the surface.  Breathe through them.  If tears come as well, then let them come.  Tears are very cleansing to the soul and they put us in touch with our hearts.  Getting in touch with our hearts is a big part of the healing process, so tears should be welcomed.

The next step is to express your feelings.  Expressing your feelings is critical to your healing.  You need to have a space to release whatever is going on inside of you, without having to be kind, spiritual, or worry about what someone else is going to think of you.

Through the years, my saving grace was expressing my feelings in my journal.  Having the outlet of my journal as a safe place to express all my emotions literally saved my life at times.

Now I have the benefit of a coach as an additional haven for me to express my feelings.  Only recently have I realized how powerful it is to have another person acknowledge and witness my feelings and intentions.  Having that supportive relationship in my life made transitioning through my last divorce, a thousand times easier than my first one twenty years ago.

It is essential to have a way to express all your feelings, whether that’s in a journal or by talking to a friend, therapist, or coach.  Until those unexpressed, painful feelings are released, you’ll stay stuck.

My grandmother passed away when I was eleven.  It took me ten years to complete the grieving process.  I bottled my sadness up inside me and pretended everything was fine.  It wasn’t until I took two dozen sleeping pills on my 17th birthday as a loud cry for help that I finally broke down.  I started expressing my grief, releasing what had been pent up inside me for years, and at last began to heal.

As you become present and start expressing all the feelings inside you, extend all the love you have to give, towards yourself.  That is where all your healing begins… with a heart full of love for yourself.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

Does Your Life Need Spring Cleaning?

I love Spring.  Spring is a season of new beginnings.  It's time to put away the heavy coats and sweaters, clean out the closets, and give away things that no longer fit or that we've outgrown.

When I got divorced last year and started dating, one of the first things I did was clean out my closet.  I felt like I was starting a-new, not just emotionally, but even with the clothes I wore.  It felt good to give away so many things I had accumulated during my marriage that no longer served the 'new' me.  The 'new' me that was single, happy, free, and ready to be out and about dating.

Spring is an inviting time to look at anything and everything that is unnecessary in our lives.  What have we accumulated, in addition to old clothes, that may not be serving us any longer?

Sometimes we outgrow certain people and relationships in our lives, but we hang on to them out of fear that we may not find anything better.  Sometimes we're still hanging on to painful emotions from the past, because we haven't completely forgiven those involved.

But when we can move past fear, and release what is not in our highest and best interest, we make the space for the Universe to bring us something new and better.

Letting go allows the light to shine in the places that were dark and murky before, clouded by our fears.  It brings clarity and new understanding of what's possible for us.  Change not only then seems possible, but we can invite it with an open heart, because fear is gone.

What behaviors, emotions, or relationships are you hanging on to that are preventing you from stepping into the life you were meant to live?  A life that is filled with love, joy, and prosperity... instead of fear, pain and struggle.  

Don't wait any longer.  Spring is here.  New beginnings can happen the very moment you let go... and make space for the miracles to come bounding in.

Let's get some miracles going on this spring.