I spent years as an exceptionally proficient multi-tasker. Rarely would I actually stop long enough to focus on one thing or one person at a time.
My inability to slow down, took its toll on my relationships. I could never relax, because I was always doing so many things at once and consequently never enjoyed any of them.
My daughter never felt like I listened to her because she I never gave her my full, undivided attention when she talked to me. I was always doing at least two things at once.
One of the ways we can improve our relationships is to learn how to give our undivided attention to the person we’re with.
Studies have shown repeatedly it is counter-productive to multi-task and it actually undermines our efficiency. Even more important is what it does to our relationships. It’s difficult for anyone in our lives to feel our love if we’re always distracted.
I have been blessed to work with some great teachers and mentors in my career who have not only modeled this skill for me, but taught it to me as well. One of my dearest mentors was Janet Bray Attwood, co-author of “The Passion Test.”
The first time I met Janet, along with her co-author and former husband Chris Attwood, was when I took the Passion Test Certification Training. I spent four days with Janet and Chris learning the Passion Test and the work of Byron Katie.
The first thing that impressed me about Janet, besides her incredible loving energy, was when she first walked in from the back of the room, she made her way to each person, in every row, standing in front of them, introducing herself, and shaking their hand.
One of Janet’s favorite sayings is “The most important person in the world is the one standing in front of you right now.” If you are standing in front of Janet, she makes you feel like the most important person in the world to her.
I learned from Janet how to be present and appreciate the person you’re with right now. I learned the value of making other people feel important from another celebrity as well.
Years ago, when I worked in Los Angeles, the Academy Award winning actor, Sidney Poitier was one of my clients. The first time I met Sidney, I was amazed at his ability to make everyone else in the room feel more important than he was. He was the epitome of charm and graciousness. If you were with Sidney one on one, he made you feel like there was no place else he’d rather be than standing right there talking to you.
When I finally learned how to start being present with what I was doing and who I was with, everything in my life improved, especially my relationships. My partner, my family, and my friends all felt more loved, appreciated, and respected.
Each moment spent with another person is sacred. If we’re too distracted, we’ll miss the most meaningful moments in our lives. Once those moments are gone, they’re gone forever.
Instead, what if we gave our undivided attention to the person standing in front of us right now? What if we treated them like the most important person in the world?
How would it make them feel? How would it make you feel? How would it transform you relationships? How would it transform your life?
Your Assignment: Take one day and do just one thing at a time. If you are talking with someone, stop doing everything else and give them your undivided attention. If you have multiple tasks to do, commit to doing just one thing at a time.
You are worth every moment of your life. Don’t let them pass you by.
“Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.” -- Tennessee Williams
Post your one small thing you did today that you gave your undivided attention to on my blog... I'd love to know your thoughts!
