Inspired Heart Coaching

I am very grateful for YOU!

"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely
the attitude of gratitude is the most important,
and by far the most life-changing."
- Zig Ziglar

With this season of Thanksgiving, I want each of you to know how deeply grateful I am for your continued  support and acknowledgment of my work. It moves me deeply to know that you take time out of your precious schedules each week to read my articles and Ezine.

I feel enormously blessed for your presence in my life and to show my appreciation, I wanted to share two of my most favorite videos and stories this week.

The video is one I've watched countless times and it never ceases to bring me to tears. It reminds me of how very much I have to be grateful for everyday. It's a short 5-minute video that I hope will remind you of the blessing you truly are to me, and to the world.

http://www.gratefulness.org/brotherdavid/a-good-day.htm

In my article this week, I'm sharing a story that also touched me deeply, and allowed me to view my life with all the struggles and challenges from a completely new perspective. Reading this story had a profound impact on me. It was this story that allowed me, in great part, to forgive, accept, and to finally feel gratitude for a very difficult time in my life. To read more about my story, please click here.

The Law of Attraction says that what we focus on expands. If you want to attract love and abundance into your life, then focus your attention on what you appreciate and are grateful for right now. This will automatically draw even more love, abundance, and even greater joy to you. You'll become a magnet to all that you desire.

This Thanksgiving, I hope you'll take some time to not only remember what you appreciate and are thankful for in your life, but also the blessings you are about to receive. Open your arms out and tell the Universe you are ready to receive all the blessings it has waiting for you.

Your belief that those blessings are on their way, and giving thanks for them in advance, will draw them right to you.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. I am very grateful for YOU.

With love, light, and blessings in abundance for the week ahead,

P.S. If you'd like some support along the journey to really foster the beliefs in your heart that your blessings are on the way, then I'm here and happy to help. My "Believe in the Magic of Love" Private Coaching Program will help you move past any old, limiting beliefs, and step into the magic of believing and knowing you deserve to have the love of your life. For a fr*ee 30-minute consultation to see if this program is right for you, just send an email to lynne@inspiredheartcoaching.com, and we'll get you scheduled today.

Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF
Love & Attraction Expert, Relationship Coach, and
Founder of Inspired Heart Coaching
"Helping you create the relationship of your dreams... "

Remember Who You Really Are... A Beloved Child of God

This is what I know for sure about Love and the Law of Attraction... whatever I put my attention on with my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, comes back to me multiplied, whether I like it or not.

So if there are experiences in my life where I haven't fully released the hurt, anger, or fear over what happened, I will continue to attract those types of experiences to me.

I have spent a huge part of my life learning how to forgive the people who hurt me.

For many years, I thought it was important to try and figure out why these things happened, and why it was necessary for me to go through these experiences.

Then I began to realize that the 'why' was not nearly as important as my desire to let the experiences go, and step out of being in the energy of a victim.

Years ago, I read the following parable from Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue; Book 3, by Neale Donald Walsh, and it helped me tremendously to change my perception about those who had hurt me.

It helped me to not only learn how to forgive, but to also feel peace and even gratitude for everything that  happened. Now, I feel blessed because the experiences I had brought me an even greater understanding of who I am and what I am here to do, which is to teach unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves, and ultimately for others as well.

My wish for you is that this story will help you find a way to heal your heart from the past, so you can fully receive all the love that's waiting for you in the future.

[God talking:] "You may choose to be any part of God you wish to be," I said to the Little Soul. "You are Absolute Divinity, experiencing Itself. What Aspect of Divinity do you now wish to experience as You?"

"You mean I have a choice?" asked the Little Soul. And I answered, "Yes. You may choose to experience any Aspect of Divinity in, as, and through you."

"Okay," said the Little Soul, "then I choose Forgiveness. I want to experience my Self as that Aspect of God called Complete Forgiveness."

Well, this created a little challenge, as you can imagine.

There was no one to forgive. All I have created is Perfection and Love.

"No one to forgive?" asked the Little Soul, somewhat incredulously.

"No one," I repeated. "Look around you. Do you see any souls less perfect, less wonderful than you?"

At this the Little Soul twirled around, and was surprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They had come from far and wide throughout the Kingdom, because they heard that the Little Soul was having an extraordinary conversation with God.

I see none less perfect that I!" the Little Soul exclaimed. "Who, then, shall I have to forgive?"

Just then, another soul stepped forward from the crowd. "You may forgive me," said this Friendly Soul.

"For what?" the Little Soul asked.

"I will come into your physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive," replied the Friendly Soul.

"But what? What could you, a being of such Perfect Light, do to make me want to forgive you?" the Little Soul wanted to know.

"Oh," smiled the Friendly Soul, "I'm sure we can think of something."

"But why would you want to do this?" The Little Soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down its vibration so much that it could actually do something "bad."

"Simple," the Friendly Soul explained, "I would do it because I love you. You want to experience your Self as Forgiving, don't you?...

I ask only one thing in return," the Friendly Soul declared.

"Anything! Anything," the Little Soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every Divine Aspect of God. He understood, now, The Plan.

"In the moment that I strike you and smite you," said the Friendly Soul, "in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine- in that self-same moment... remember Who I Really Am."

"Oh, I won't forget!" promised the Little Soul. "I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always."

Remember who you really are... a beloved child of God and the Universe, deserving of all the love you desire.

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Dawn's blog Inspired Heart Coaching.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships, and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her exclusive, new report, "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate", when you subscribe to her Ezine, or email her at Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

Life is a Celebration!

Welcome to all our new subscribers! It's so wonderful to have you as part of our community.

There are times when life just feels like a celebration. For me, the holidays are one of those times, especially when I have family close by and a wonderful, romantic man who is my partner and the love of my life. There is much to be grateful for.

My daughter and I went Christmas shopping over the weekend. I bought three new pairs of gorgeous high heels that I can't wait to wear when my boyfriend, Paul, takes me out. Since he is 10" taller than I am, I can put on a pair of beautiful 4" heels and he's still taller. He just ordered a pair of fabulous red and black, custom made Argentine Tango shoes for me with 3¼" heels, so we'll be a little closer in height when we're dancing. It is so wonderful to have a partner who not only loves and adores me, but loves to dance with me all the time.

With the holidays just around the corner, where is your special someone?

I'd love to help you bring that special someone into your life. If you're ready to begin creating a rewarding and enriching relationship with someone new, I can help you attract him into your life. You can start making your relationship dreams come true.

The first step is up to you. I have 2 spots left for a f*r*e*e "Find Your Soul Mate" Coaching Session. You can register for it until November 23rd. If you're ready to take that first step, you can find the details to register below.

My article this week is on the nature of love and using the Law of Attraction to attract the man of your dreams. My wish for you is that you can use the information to manifest your ideal relationship in the New Year. Make 2009 your best year yet!

And if you'd like support in any way, please know I'm here to offer that to you as you begin your journey to love.

With love, light, and blessings for the coming week ahead,

Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF
Love & Attraction Expert, Relationship Coach, and
Founder of Inspired Heart Coaching
"Helping you create the relationship of your dreams... "

Do you really believe that you can attract the love of your life?

Or, are there nagging doubts and fears that consistently crop up when you start to think about manifesting the relationship of your dreams?

I was working with a client the other day, and as we discussed some of the challenges that have held her back from having her ideal relationship, she finally just sighed and said, "I guess there's just a part of me that's doesn't really believe I can have my ideal relationship." Bingo, we hit pay dirt when she made that realization.

The Law of Attraction is a very powerful universal principal, but it is essentially neutral. It simply delivers to us what we believe to be true.

So if your belief is continually wavering about whether or not it's possible for you to create your heart's desire, then that is what the Universe will bring to you... more men to waver about.

If your belief is "I'm not sure I've got the skills to develop the long-term, committed relationship I desire, because I haven't been able to in the past," then that is what the Universe will deliver... more relationships to test those skills you're not sure you have.

But here is another wonderful truth... you can turn it all around.

By unveiling and releasing those old limiting beliefs, and strengthening your faith, you can open yourself to attracting a man who is in alignment with who you are and what you want. Your life is merely a reflection of what you have given your attention to. Your thoughts and feelings are either created, by default, or consciously created, based on your beliefs.

So if you're ready to start shedding those old beliefs that have held you back, here are the first three steps to begin:

1. Be the person you want to attract in a partner. Do you want to attract a man who does nothing but complain about the past, or blames his current circumstances on people and events outside his control? Then stop doing those things yourself. If you're still reeling and hurting from a previous relationship, then get some help to release those thoughts and feelings, so you can stop carrying them into the future. If you want a man to be present with you and in the moment of your new relationship, then you have to be a woman who does this as well. If you want a man who treats you with love and respect, then be a woman who treats others (especially men) with love and respect.

2. Believe that you can have the relationship of your dreams. This, of course, is the essence of the Law of Attraction. You can only receive what you can believe and conceive. Work on clearing those old beliefs that keep holding you back from living the life, and having the love, you deserve. Use whatever method works best for you, whether that's journaling, working with a coach or counselor, or doing something like The Work of Byron Katie. Find a way to release those old beliefs so you can allow the Universe to deliver what you want. Once you really believe you deserve an extraordinary relationship, you'll attract it.

3. Feel and envision what your ideal relationship will be like for you once you have it. You need to be really clear about your desires, what you want, and what it will look like. Then take it one step further and think about how you want to feel. How do you want to feel when you're with this new wonderful man? How does having this new relationship make you feel deep inside? It's your thoughts that affect your feelings, and your feelings that send out those vibrational waves that attract or repel exactly what you're in alignment with. Be in alignment with the love you desire by feeling that love right now.

 Believe in the magic you once did as a little girl... the love songs, the happily-ever-after romantic movies (the only kind I'll watch, by the way), the wishing on a star to make your dreams come true. Yes, it all sounds like Disney fairytale magic. But magic exists if you believe. And if you believe, then you can receive the magic of love. Believe and allow it to happen to you.

Until next time...

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Dawn's blog Inspired Heart Coaching.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships, and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her exclusive, new report, "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate", when you subscribe to her Ezine, or email her at Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

Are You Working Too Hard to Have a Relationship? (Part 2)

This week I’m going to share with you the three big lessons I learned to change my behavior so I could create the relationship of my dreams.

Here’s what I learned:

1.  I stopped trying so hard to make the relationship happen.  I really felt part of my job was to work hard at keeping the relationship going all the time, even if my partner wasn’t working at it at all.  The problem with that is that men like to feel they have some control over where they’re going with a woman in a relationship, and not that it’s all being directed by someone else.  By my working so hard at it all the time, I took that away from him. 

2.  I stopped giving all of me away.  I had a tendency in the past to tell a man everything about me, right from the start.  If there was a connection, I thought the more I shared, the better off we would be, because we would develop emotional intimacy that much sooner.  The problem with that was there was nothing left for him to discover after the first few dates.  I was the one doing all the talking.  Part of me wanted to show him how smart, funny, capable, and interesting I was, because then he would see how different I was from every other girl out there.  There was a need to prove myself and be ‘worthy’ of a relationship.

But in the beginning of a relationship, most men really don’t care very much about everything we’ve done in the past and all we’ve accomplished.  They want to focus on who we are with them right now, in this moment.  They want a woman who can be feminine, sensual, relaxed, and at ease with herself because this immediately puts them at ease when we’re together.  Being intelligent is great, because men like smart women, but not if it feels cold, superior or condescending.  Being smart has to include warmth and femininity for men to really feel their masculinity when they’re with a woman.  I took away all the mystery of letting him get to know me in his own way.  I was too busy doing all the chasing, being too nice, giving, and available, to give him any reason to continue pursuing me.  He stopped because I gave him nothing to pursue.  I gave it all away in the beginning.  Men like discovering things on their own.  Part of what keeps attraction going is anticipation for the unknown.  It’s part of what draws men to us.

3.  I needed to take care of myself before I took care of him.  I didn’t take care of my own needs and desires first, so I started to resent everything I was doing for him.  The fact that he didn’t appreciate what I was doing just made it worse.  I was operating out of fear of loss and trying to hang on to the relationship by doing everything I could for him.  But I got lost in the process.  My confidence and self-esteem gradually whittled away, along with any feelings of ease and relaxation.  I was anxious, worried, and fearful about the relationship and constantly tried to analyze everything he said or did.  I was working so hard to get him to love me, I forgot about loving myself.  This just pushed him away even faster.  Men hate being told what to do.  And the more I tried to convince him that I was the ‘girl for him’, the more he withdrew.

I finally learned how to withdraw myself from the mentality of competing with every other woman out 
there, and started taking care of my own needs.  I learned to stop pushing for a relationship or a commitment before a man is ready to offer one on his own.  It rarely works when it’s not his idea.  I learned to act and speak from an abundant mentality, because if one man doesn’t appreciate me, there are other men out there who will.  I stopped trying so hard to please him, fulfill all his needs and desires, and analyze his feelings.  Instead, I focused on myself, on what I was feeling, and what I wanted.  I became a woman who knew she deserved a great man and an extraordinary relationship.  And that’s exactly what I found.

Stay true to yourself.  Keep your heart open.  Be the extraordinary woman you are.  Know you deserve an extraordinary relationship.  You will start attracting extraordinary and wonderful men into your life as if by magic.  And you won’t have to work hard at all.

Until next time...

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO SEE MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Dawn's blog Inspired Heart Coaching.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships, and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her exclusive, new report, "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate", when you subscribe to her Ezine, or email her at Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

How Can I Help You Find The Love of Your Life?

Welcome to all my new subscribers this week! Now that you've joined our community, I'm looking forward to our time together and the wonderful things that will happen in your love life and relationships. It is my wish to support you every step of the way on this path we're now traveling together, to help you find the love of your life, and have a deep and magical loving relationship.

There has been an overwhelming response to my "Find Your Soul Mate" F*r*e*e Session Offer, and I've been inundated with requests. I'm thrilled to be able to help as many of you as possible. I have 5 more spots available, and the offer runs through the end of next week, so please sign up as soon as possible if you're interested. Click here for all the details, and to register for your session.

This week is the second part of my article "Are You Working Too Hard to Have a Relationship?" In this article, I'll share with you the three big lessons I learned, and how I changed my behavior in relationships. I hope you enjoy it and learn from everything I did wrong in the past!

Finally, I did an interview recently with Jocelyne Teasdale to promote her new book, Beauty Enslaved. It was a wonderful interview, and I so enjoyed talking to her. If you'd like to listen to it, you can click here.

Until next time, I wish for you a week filled with love, light, and blessings,

Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF
Love & Attraction Expert, Relationship Coach, Author and
founder of Inspired Heart Coaching(TM)
"Helping single women attract the love of their life... "

"Find Your Soul Mate" Free Coaching Session

The beginning of November and the Christmas decorations are in full swing already. Amazing. But the holiday season also brings a certain level of hope and inspiration, a time for us to reconnect with ourselves and with others. It can be magical and filled with love... especially when you have the warmth of a special someone to share it with.

In honor of this special season of love and connection, I've decided to offer my complimentary "Find Your Soul Mate" Coaching Session. For the next 2 weeks, or first 15 people (whichever comes first), you can receive an exclusive private session with me where we will work together to:

=> Clarify & crystallize your vision for your ideal man and ideal relationship

=> Create key milestone objectives so you know you're on the right path to create exactly what you want

=> Develop a 3 step attraction plan that will help you get started attracting your ideal partner

=> We'll uncover hidden challenges that might be sabotaging your success

=> You'll leave the session with renewed energy and inspiration to manifest the love you desire with grace and ease

If you are ready to attract your ideal partner and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship, then I hope you'll join me in one of these very special sessions. You are also welcome to pass it on to someone else who might be interested in having the session.

If love is calling your heart, then it's time to let your heart embrace all of its desires and attract the love of your life.

This exclusive offer is only available for the next 2 weeks or first 15 people (whichever comes first) and you can have this special session with me at NO COST whatsoever. Normally, a private session with me would cost $250, but in honor of the holidays and because I've talked to so many women who are struggling with this, I wanted to reach out and offer my support. If you would like to take advantage of this very exclusive offer while it lasts, please click here to complete a brief questionnaire to get signed up today for your complimentary "Find Your Soul Mate" Coaching session!

In my article this week, I'm sharing the lessons I learned after working to carry the burden of trying to make a relationship happen. I learned the hard way, so I hope my article helps you have an easier time. I had so much information to share; it ended up being a 2-part article... more next week.

Until next time, have a wonderful week filled with love, light, and blessings,

 

Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF
Love & Attraction Expert
Relationship Coach
Author
Founder of Inspired Heart Coaching and a leading
authority on Love and Relationships
"Helping single women attract the love of their life... "
541.608.0508
dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com
www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com
www.InspiredHeartCoachingBlog.com
Twitter:  www.twitter.com/dawnallen
Facebook:  http://profile.to/dawnallen

Are You Working Too Hard to Have a Relationship? (Part 1)

Have you ever felt like giving up on dating because you keep having the same frustrating experiences over and over again? The kind of experience where the man you’re dating acts distant or flaky, is not willing to commit, or stops calling completely?

That’s exactly where I was, before I learned the lessons I’m going to share with you. I made every mistake on how not to attract a great relationship.

A number of years ago, I dated a man I was powerfully attracted to. Everything started off great. I had high hopes for the relationship because of our initial, strong connection.

He was busy and successful, and I made myself as available as possible so dating me wouldn’t be a lot of work for him. If he didn’t have time to see me, I would go see him. If he was too tired to take me out, I would cook for him or deliver dinner to his house. If he couldn’t make plans for the weekend because he didn’t know what his schedule would be like, I didn’t make any plans just in case he might have time to see me.

I bent over backwards trying to be helpful, even when he wasn’t asking for my help. Anything I could think of to do that would make his life easier and better, I did. I tried to be the sweetest, most giving, most understanding, most loving girl he’d ever met, so he couldn’t find fault with me. I left nothing to chance. I felt like it was my job to carry the responsibility for the relationship, and as long as I did, we had one. I was too nervous to see what would happen if I stopped.

Then without any explanation, he started withdrawing and pulling away. He became distant. I didn’t know if I was doing something wrong, or if he just had issues to work out. Either way, I figured the more accommodating I was the easier it would be for him to work through whatever was bothering him. I overcompensated for his need to pull away, by doing even more things. I sent him cards, and bought him little gifts to let him know how much I cared, and to show him how understanding I was.

But not only did he not seem to appreciate all the giving I was doing, he kept repeating the pattern of being very unpredictable and inconsistent in his responses to me. I didn’t know what to do. I started feeling panicky and tried to do even more to keep the relationship going. I called or emailed him to make sure he knew I was thinking about him. I made sure he knew I was available anytime he wanted to see me, even if it was last minute. All the while, I sunk more and more into a feeling of desperation.

And then he abruptly ended the relationship completely. I was heartbroken and confused. What had I done wrong? Was it something about me? Or, had I just picked the wrong guy again?

I felt like my life was together in every other area. I had a great career, close family, wonderful friends. Why did I feel so confused when it came to relationships and men? Why was I having such a difficult time attracting a good relationship? Then I got angry. These on-again, off-again relationships with men were not going to keep happening to me.

I started my search to try to figure out what I was doing wrong. I made the decision to learn everything I could about attraction and relationships. More importantly, I learned who I would have to become in order to attract a really great man and have an extraordinary relationship.

The truth was that being in a relationship where I was constantly doing all the giving was exhausting. After awhile, I resented it, but I thought that’s what I needed to do in order for a man to be with me. I felt like I always had to be doing something to ‘earn’ the relationship.

I had no clue that it was this very behavior that was pushing men away and turning them off. They felt smothered, and I didn’t leave anything for them to do in the relationship. I was too busy doing it all myself.

And where were my needs and desires in all this? They got left by the wayside. Finally, I understood what I’d been doing wrong. It wasn’t about the man I was dating. It was about me and who I was in the relationship.

In next week’s article, I’ll share the three big lessons I learned to change my behavior and create the relationship of my dreams. Stay tuned :-)

Until next time...

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, C.D.C, C.P.T.F., is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™.  She is a leading authority on love and relationships and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives.  Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship.  You will identify and release any limiting beliefs about yourself and your relationships, as well as patterns from the past that have been holding you back from finding the love you desire.  You will become magnetic to the love of your life.

To learn more about Dawn, visit her website at www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her “Find Your Soul Mate” E-Book when you subscribe to her Secrets to Love Ezine.  For more information or to schedule a session, contact her office at 541.608.0508 or email Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

Are You Working Too Hard to Have a Relationship? (Part 1)

Have you ever felt like giving up on dating because you keep having the same frustrating experiences over and over again? The kind of experience where the man you’re dating acts distant or flaky, is not willing to commit, or stops calling completely?

That’s exactly where I was, before I learned the lessons I’m going to share with you. I made every mistake on how not to attract a great relationship.

A number of years ago, I dated a man I was powerfully attracted to. Everything started off great. I had high hopes for the relationship because of our initial, strong connection.

He was busy and successful, and I made myself as available as possible so dating me wouldn’t be a lot of work for him. If he didn’t have time to see me, I would go see him. If he was too tired to take me out, I would cook for him or deliver dinner to his house. If he couldn’t make plans for the weekend because he didn’t know what his schedule would be like, I didn’t make any plans just in case he might have time to see me.

I bent over backwards trying to be helpful, even when he wasn’t asking for my help. Anything I could think of to do that would make his life easier and better, I did. I tried to be the sweetest, most giving, most understanding, most loving girl he’d ever met, so he couldn’t find fault with me. I left nothing to chance. I felt like it was my job to carry the responsibility for the relationship, and as long as I did, we had one. I was too nervous to see what would happen if I stopped.

Then without any explanation, he started withdrawing and pulling away. He became distant. I didn’t know if I was doing something wrong, or if he just had issues to work out. Either way, I figured the more accommodating I was the easier it would be for him to work through whatever was bothering him. I overcompensated for his need to pull away, by doing even more things. I sent him cards, and bought him little gifts to let him know how much I cared, and to show him how understanding I was.

But not only did he not seem to appreciate all the giving I was doing, he kept repeating the pattern of being very unpredictable and inconsistent in his responses to me. I didn’t know what to do. I started feeling panicky and tried to do even more to keep the relationship going. I called or emailed him to make sure he knew I was thinking about him. I made sure he knew I was available anytime he wanted to see me, even if it was last minute. All the while, I sunk more and more into a feeling of desperation.

And then he abruptly ended the relationship completely. I was heartbroken and confused. What had I done wrong? Was it something about me? Or, had I just picked the wrong guy again?

I felt like my life was together in every other area. I had a great career, close family, wonderful friends. Why did I feel so confused when it came to relationships and men? Why was I having such a difficult time attracting a good relationship? Then I got angry. These on-again, off-again relationships with men were not going to keep happening to me.

I started my search to try to figure out what I was doing wrong. I made the decision to learn everything I could about attraction and relationships. More importantly, I learned who I would have to become in order to attract a really great man and have an extraordinary relationship.

The truth was that being in a relationship where I was constantly doing all the giving was exhausting. After awhile, I resented it, but I thought that’s what I needed to do in order for a man to be with me. I felt like I always had to be doing something to ‘earn’ the relationship.

I had no clue that it was this very behavior that was pushing men away and turning them off. They felt smothered, and I didn’t leave anything for them to do in the relationship. I was too busy doing it all myself.

And where were my needs and desires in all this? They got left by the wayside. Finally, I understood what I’d been doing wrong. It wasn’t about the man I was dating. It was about me and who I was in the relationship.

In next week’s article, I’ll share the three big lessons I learned to change my behavior and create the relationship of my dreams. Stay tuned :-)

Until next time...

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, C.D.C, C.P.T.F., is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™.  She is a leading authority on love and relationships and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives.  Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship.  You will identify and release any limiting beliefs about yourself and your relationships, as well as patterns from the past that have been holding you back from finding the love you desire.  You will become magnetic to the love of your life.

To learn more about Dawn, visit her website at www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her “Find Your Soul Mate” E-Book when you subscribe to her Secrets to Love Ezine.  For more information or to schedule a session, contact her office at 541.608.0508 or email Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.