Inspired Heart Coaching

Time to Vote

By Gary Zukav

It is time to vote. The most important presidential election, perhaps in American history, is approaching. Voting is your only way to determine what you want, what you stand for, what your life is about. When you “throw away” your opportunity to vote, you vote anyway. You vote for apathy, indifference,  powerlessness. The first time I visited Eastern Europe, experienced the Iron Curtain, and my fear when crossing back into Berlin of the young boys in uniform at the checkpoint with their automatic weapons, the barbed wire, and concrete barriers I realized what the right to vote means, and what it means to be able to travel where I please, say what I feel, and do what I need to do. None of those freedoms existed in East Germany. Even if we foolishly vote them away in the next election – if we vote for fear, superiority, exclusiveness, powerlessness – we cannot throw away the necessity of voting continually throughout every day, and every hour.

When you are impatient, will you vote for patience or the impatience that you are feeling? Acting on the impatience is a vote for it. Challenging it (not acting on it) is a vote for patience. When you are angry will you vote again for anger (act on it), or will you vote for understanding and care (not act on it). What you vote for gets elected. You are the only one voting in the election. The candidates are always love and fear. Love runs on the harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life ticket. It presents itself as gratitude, caring, patience, contentment, appreciation, and more. Fear runs on the discord, competition, hoarding, and exploitation ticket. It presents itself as anger, jealousy, resentment, superiority, inferiority, need to dominate, need to please, and every obsessive thought that you think (such as, He is so stupid; I am so stupid), every compulsive activity you engage (such as workaholism, perfectionism, savior searching), and your every addictive behavior (such over-eating, smoking, gambling, watching pornography, shopping, alcohol, drugs).

Listen carefully to the candidates that are running for election. Get to know them. Let yourself imagine what it would be like to live in the world they want to create. Do you want to live that world? Each time you vote, the candidate you choose wins. You act on your anger or not, challenge your jealousy or not, indulge the need to please or not. You can loose the ability to vote in a democratic election. It is not guaranteed and it would not exist without the courage and blood that were required to create and maintain it. Don’t throw that courage and sacrifice away. Love your neighbors enough, including those who have come before you, to honor their gifts. People like you have died so that you can vote. Voting in a democratic election is that precious.

You will never lose your ability to vote for love or fear. It cannot be taken from you and you have no option but to use it. Each moment that you are angry you must challenge your anger or act on it, challenge your impatience or act on it, challenge your sense of hopelessness or let it control you. Each moment you vote for the world that you want to live in by choosing a loving part of your personality or a frightened part. No one counts your vote. Each vote creates consequences that you encounter in the intimacy of your own experience. Only your vote stands between you and the life that you want to live, between joy and pain, between meaning and emptiness.

It is time to vote.

Copyright © 2008 Gary Zukav

Visit Gary Zukav’s website, www.seatofthesoul.com, for more on this topic.

Fall is Here

Fall is here. I spent most of Saturday with my daughter at the mall hunting for her Halloween costume.  Shopping with a 13-year-old can be… tiring. Fortunately, my boyfriend took me for a long walk on Sunday, and we enjoyed the beautiful fall colors of the trees. Then he took me to lunch at a restaurant where we ate outside basking in the unusually sunny weather. The day ended with him treating my daughter and me to dinner at her most favorite place on earth, The Olive Garden. We sat on the patio laughing and talking together all evening. It was heaven. Any man who can sit and entertain a 13-year-old girl with conversation, without her wanting to disappear into text messaging, is pretty darn extraordinary. He is.

My article this week, “A Time to Vote,” is a reprint from a very profound and prolific writer I greatly respect, Gary Zukav. Since we’re so close to election time, I thought Gary’s article on the choices we make when we’re voting was well worth sharing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Finally, there are a few spots left in my 90-Day “Attract the Love of Your Life” Group Coaching Program. There are more details below, but if you’re interested, you can register at: www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com/attract.

If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming holiday season because your love life isn’t where you want it to be, then now is the time to turn things around. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could attend all the holiday parties and events with a wonderful man by your side? It’s not too late. You’d be amazed at how quickly things can turn around when you’ve got the right mindset and right support.

Ready to get going with the confidence, charm, and charisma to attract just the right guy? Join me in this very special 90-Day “Attract the Love of Your Life” Group Coaching Program and let’s get started today. I’d love to support you. Click here to register today.

With love, light, and blessings,

Fall is Here

Fall is here. I spent most of Saturday with my daughter at the mall hunting for her Halloween costume.  Shopping with a 13-year-old can be… tiring. Fortunately, my boyfriend took me for a long walk on Sunday, and we enjoyed the beautiful fall colors of the trees. Then he took me to lunch at a restaurant where we ate outside basking in the unusually sunny weather. The day ended with him treating my daughter and me to dinner at her most favorite place on earth, The Olive Garden. We sat on the patio laughing and talking together all evening. It was heaven. Any man who can sit and entertain a 13-year-old girl with conversation, without her wanting to disappear into text messaging, is pretty darn extraordinary. He is.

My article this week, “A Time to Vote,” is a reprint from a very profound and prolific writer I greatly respect, Gary Zukav. Since we’re so close to election time, I thought Gary’s article on the choices we make when we’re voting was well worth sharing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Finally, there are a few spots left in my 90-Day “Attract the Love of Your Life” Group Coaching Program. There are more details below, but if you’re interested, you can register at: www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com/attract.

If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming holiday season because your love life isn’t where you want it to be, then now is the time to turn things around. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could attend all the holiday parties and events with a wonderful man by your side? It’s not too late. You’d be amazed at how quickly things can turn around when you’ve got the right mindset and right support.

Ready to get going with the confidence, charm, and charisma to attract just the right guy? Join me in this very special 90-Day “Attract the Love of Your Life” Group Coaching Program and let’s get started today. I’d love to support you. Click here to register today.

With love, light, and blessings,

Words to live by

I read this beautiful essay recently, written by Andy Rooney, and thought it well-worth sharing. Maybe the greatest gift we could give ourselves would be to remember and live by these beautiful thoughts before we come to the end of our lives... From Andy Rooney- I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned. ... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class. I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds. I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life. I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. I've learned .... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

New Attract The Love of Your Life Group Coaching Program Starts November 6, 2008

Are you ready to attract the love of your life and finally have the romantic, fulfilling, loving relationship you've always dreamed about, or do you know someone who is?

I'd love to support you on your journey to attracting the love of your life.

With my new Attract the Love of Your Life Group Coaching Program, my goal is to guide you towards finding a deep, magical and loving relationship, with a man who will love, respect, treasure, admire, and adore you.

Many professional women in their 30's, 40', and 50's struggle to find their ideal mate and create the kind of deep and emotionally powerful relationship they deserve. They secretly worry that a relationship might mean the end of their career or business.

I felt exactly the same way. I was afraid of getting hurt again, skeptical that love could work for me, and worried that I'd have to give up everything I'd worked for to have it.

Then I discovered an approach to attracting a great man and creating a wonderful relationship that completely transformed my love life.

This group represents months of intense work, and decades of personal growth on my own spiritual journey that got me to where I am today.

Today I have a relationship that is filled with closeness, trust, fun, great communication, and intimacy. It grows better and deeper with time, and has allowed my life to open up to more happiness and success than I ever dreamed possible.

It is my honor and pleasure to offer you support and guidance to help you attract and sustain the loving relationship you've always wanted.

If you’re ready to begin the journey to the love of your life, please join me. For all the details and more information, go to:

http://www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com/attract

I look forward to helping you attract and sustain the loving relationship you’ve always wanted.

With love, light and blessings,

P.S. We’ve also created a very special Facebook Group called Attract the Love of Your Life Group Coaching. Come join the group and we’ll have lots to share!

P.S.S We do have to limit the size of the class, so you if want to possibly start 2009 in a great new relationship, click here to read more.

Love, Love, Love

My mother took my daughter to Portland last weekend, which gave my partner, Paul, and me the chance to spend four days together. It was wonderful. We practiced tango dancing, shopped, took walks, cooked dinner together, and worked together. He brought me coffee and made me breakfast every morning. It was better than a vacation. He not only told me how much he loved me, but he showed me over and over again. I am not only deeply in love, I feel immensely blessed.

Through my relationship with Paul, I have learned some incredible things about our expectations about love. I wrote about some of them in last week's article, but this week I delve even deeper into what our expectations about love can teach us. I hope it inspires you to step into a new reality about love.

I'm so excited about my new group coaching program. If you're ready to get serious about finding the love of your life, this is the first step. See "Teleseminar and Workshops" here on the blog, for more details and information.

With love, light, and blessings,

Love, Love, Love

My mother took my daughter to Portland last weekend, which gave my partner, Paul, and me the chance to spend four days together. It was wonderful. We practiced tango dancing, shopped, took walks, cooked dinner together, and worked together. He brought me coffee and made me breakfast every morning. It was better than a vacation. He not only told me how much he loved me, but he showed me over and over again. I am not only deeply in love, I feel immensely blessed.

Through my relationship with Paul, I have learned some incredible things about our expectations about love. I wrote about some of them in last week's article, but this week I delve even deeper into what our expectations about love can teach us. I hope it inspires you to step into a new reality about love.

I'm so excited about my new group coaching program. If you're ready to get serious about finding the love of your life, this is the first step. See "Teleseminar and Workshops" here on the blog, for more details and information.

With love, light, and blessings,

What “Should” We Really Expect of Love?

Did you hear the word “should” when you were growing up?  I heard it a lot... really a lot.  The effect was lots and lots of guilt, over just about anything there was to feel guilty about.

To this day, I struggle with not apologizing profusely over the slightest thing that might possibly be my fault.

I say “I’m sorry” so much, that the other day, when my boyfriend and I were practicing tango, he said that I could just say it once at the beginning of our dance session, and let that take care of all my ensuing mistakes.

It still didn’t work.  Saying “I’m sorry” is so ingrained and habitual in me it’s an automatic response anytime something goes wrong.

My tango instructor scolded me once because I apologized for a misstep during a dance, which he said was not my fault at all, but my partner’s, and that I should not be the one apologizing.

Where does this need to apologize come from?  I heard the word “should” so often  growing up I never felt like I was living up to what was expected of me.  “Should” is all about expectations: what we “ought” to be doing, the expectations we have of ourselves and of others.  My knee jerk reaction of apologizing is to alleviate someone from being disappointed in me based on the expectations I think they might have; or in this case, what I expect, even unrealistically, of myself.

What happens when we have expectations in our relationship with our partner?

We set ourselves up for disappointments.  It can’t be helped.

Every time I heard the word “should”, I felt like I was disappointing the people in my life.  The same is true for our partners when we use that word in our relationship, or when we have expectations of them.  Our partners immediately feel like they are disappointing us.

Our expectations are based on how we think things should be, which may or may not be in agreement with how our partner thinks they should be.

But, what happens when we let go of our expectations?

Without the burden of expectations weighing it down, our relationship begins to unfold in its own miraculous way.

It breathes a huge sigh of relief.  Our partners do too.

We can enjoy experiences for what they are, instead of comparing them to what we think they should be.  We can stay in the present moment, with ourselves and with our partner.

Staying present means we can listen.  Not just listen, but listen without judgment, because our expectations aren’t getting in the way.

We can speak from our hearts, because our fears and disappointments from unfulfilled expectations aren’t impeding us.

We can give our partners the opportunity to speak from their hearts as well.  By letting go of our expectations, we relieve their fears of letting us down.  They will feel like we’re really listening to them, not some made-up version of them based on our expectations.

After my boyfriend and I started dating, he forewarned me that saying “I love you” was an issue for him.  His previous partner had expected him to say it all the time, whether he felt like it or not.

After being pressured to say those three words, he said he thought it was going to be difficult for him to say them again.

I told him I understood, and that I had no expectations of hearing “I love you” anytime soon.  Besides, his actions more than told me that he loved me.  I was content to allow the relationship to unfold of its own accord.

Interestingly enough, he told me he loved me long before I ever thought he would.  He said in large part because he knew I didn’t expect him to say it, and I was perfectly fine if he didn’t tell me he loved me.

Relieving him of the burden of expectations, he felt free of any fear of disappointing me, which allowed him to just be present and speak freely from his heart.  It meant the world to me that he chose to do that when he didn’t have to.

Staying present and in the moment releases us from trying to constantly figure things out.  Our only job is to be here now, and talk and listen from this present moment.

We never really have anything but the present anyhow, so we might as well sit back and enjoy it.

There’s an old saying, “The present is a gift.”

If we’re living through the filter of our expectations, we miss the gift of what is happening right now, because we’re not present.  We’re trapped in forever comparing "what is" to our expectations of "what it isn’t", and what we think it "should be".

We miss the very best part of our relationship: being present with another human being, and the miraculous unfolding of the unknown in this moment.

Half the fun in a relationship is the surprises.  When we relieve people of the burden of our expectations, we give them the opportunity to surprise us with their generosity.

Every time I’ve had expectations about a relationship or a man, I’ve been disappointed.

Every time I’ve let them go, I’ve been overjoyed at the unexpected and wonderful surprises.

Men really do want to please us.  They want to make us happy.  But that’s really tough to do under the scrutiny of expectations.

If we let go of our expectations and stay present, we give men a chance to discover their own feelings.  They can come to their feelings of love without the weight of feeling obligated to do so.

When we allow men this freedom, they will surprise and delight us with their adoration.

Isn’t that what we want?  To feel treasured, admired, adored, loved, and cherished?

Let go of your expectations and watch what happens when you just stay present.  You will be amazed at how wonderful things will unfold.

Love really can be magic.  Allow it come to you in all its glory, with all its wonderful surprises.

I will hold that door wide open for you with all the love in my heart...and no expectations.

© 2008 Dawn Allen

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, C.D.C, C.P.T.F., is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™.  She is a leading authority on love and relationships and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives.  Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship.  You will identify and release any limiting beliefs about yourself and your relationships, as well as patterns from the past that have been holding you back from finding the love you desire.  You will become magnetic to the love of your life.

To learn more about Dawn, visit her website at www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her “Find Your Soul Mate” E-Book when you subscribe to her "Live Your Dreams" Ezine.  For more information or to schedule a session, contact her office at 541.608.0508 or email Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

How do we get back to inner peace?

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery... we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.” ~Dalai Lama And what happens to that inner peace the Dalai Lama speaks of, when someone we know throws a big, bunch of negativity at us? Sometimes we plummet. At least I did this week when I got big, 'ole bunch of negative feedback about something I wrote, from someone I truly love and care about. I felt hurt, misunderstood, unsupported, and just generally awful. Hardly the beacon of inner peace and happiness. At first, I felt really angry and defensive. Fortunately, I didn't act on those feelings. Difficult though that was to not want to justify my actions. After a few hours went by (and lots of introspection and some journaling), I moved back into that place known as my heart, and chose to respond from a place of love. I may not have liked what this person did, but that wasn't about me. What was about me was how I chose to respond. And what I chose to do about it. I could have gotten defensive, but that would have only perpetuated the negativity and made me feel better for one brief moment in time, before I felt worse. A band-aid for a deep wound. Instead I tried to see how this person may have felt and to view what happened from their perspective. I still may not have agreed with their actions (I didn't), but at least I could have compassion and understanding for where they were coming from (I did). And I also realized that sometimes the Universe is trying to tell us something when we're experiencing negative emotion. Like maybe what we're hanging on to is unhealthy for us, and it's time to let go. I let go. I realized that much as I love this person, perhaps it is time we let each other go. And I can do that in love. Now that feels good. I just made space for peace and happiness again. Thank you, Dalai Lama. Love it when that happens. Letting go in love feels... great.

Shopping With My Boyfriend

I went shopping with my boyfriend, Paul, last night. We bought my first two dresses specifically for dancing tango… so much fun. I wrote on one of my Twitter posts that think I fall more in love with him every time we dance. It's true. Having him teach me with such patience, and then lead me around the dance floor with confidence and strength, is incredibly romantic. Unlike all the other areas of my life where I have to be the strong and capable women (mom, entrepreneur, writer, coach), when I'm dancing with Paul, I get to just follow and be led around the floor letting him make me look beautiful. When he gazes down at me (he's 6'2"…I'm 5'4"), I can feel and see his pride in me, and love of dancing with me. It's magical.

Letting go of our expectations about love can also be magical. My article this week is about how we can create that magic in our relationship, by letting go of our expectations. It comes straight from my heart from personal experience! I hope you enjoy it.

I'm excited about the new changes to my website, and I'd love your feedback. Go to www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com to send me an email with your comments, and we'll send you my new report, "4 Secrets of Finding Your Soul Mate."

I am so excited there was such a great response to my “Find Your Soul Mate” Teleseminar yesterday. I so appreciated having the opportunity to understand what your biggest challenges are in finding your soul mate. I loved interacting and sharing with all of you on the phone, and I look forward to spending more time with you in the future.

For anyone interested in additional coaching support, I have two opportunities coming up next week. My “5 Secrets to Love” Teleclass, and my soon to be launched group coaching program, “How to Attract the Love of Your Life.” Look for details in next week’s ezine!

Let's get started working together helping you begin the New Year with the love of your life!

With love, light, and blessings,